I can't even walk...without you holding my hand

Finding out about a friend's death

Many of our brothers and sisters in Christ are hurting in one way or another. Or in multiple ways. It seems like we are getting hit from all sides. It seems like the prayer lists are longer, the pleas more urgent.

We were hit this week: Philip and I lost a good friend. We just found out on Friday that he was gone. It was such a punch in the gut. I was on the ground thinking about that song, “I can’t even walk...without you holding my hand.” How do I get up and what was I planning on doing? I can’t think. I kept thinking about our friend, and his wife, and his grown daughter, and her small child. Why hadn’t we heard anything?

This man and his wife were the first people in my hospital room when I had a brain tumor 5 years ago. They even beat Philip to the hospital. They had brought magazines and treats, very welcome gifts. Granted, they lived very close to the hospital but still, when people make the choice to spend time time with you. That sticks. And to come into a hospital, that’s especially welcome. I don’t like hospitals. But for people, I will go in a hospital.

I had already planned to do some visiting, go to a funeral, go to an estate sale, etc. on Friday and Saturday. I felt led to get up and keep on with everything. The devil knows me. He knows my struggle. How I want to stew in that vat of loneliness and grief. Yes, but Jesus knows me too. He is with me. So I kept to His plan for me. And somehow, with every step on my weekend, I was not alone. And at every step, Jesus had someone there who saw me, spoke to me, shared with me, appreciated my presence, and soothed my soul even though they didn’t know they were doing that. Get that? You won’t always know when you’re doing the Lord’s work but when you follow His leading, you will be doing the Lord’s work, even if it’s just greeting someone at the corner store.

We are not alone. “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in Spirit.” Psalm 34:18 When the girls and I got home, we saw Philip getting ready to leave. I felt he did not need to be alone right now, so we all went together to run his errands with him. And it was good we were together because it was in that running around when he learned that the doctor had taken his own life and that there had been no service. “I can’t even walk...without you holding my hand.”

Batten down the hatches. The spiritual battle is getting worse but we are not alone. We just all need reminders now and then. I have a running prayer list that is getting messy but such is life. Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4.